The Great Escape

Excited about the chance!

When planning this journey we discussed trying new things. We said we would put our fears aside and give something back in exchange for the chance to learn. One of the ways we wanted this idea to manifest itself was through working on an organic farm as a WWOOFer, worldwide organic farm organization volunteer. We would volunteer to work on a farm in exchange for room and board....not money. Working with our hands, outside, while learning the skills of farming, animal husbandry, making cheese, or wine......anyone of the above would have been magical compared to the place we ended up.

Hunting for the right place...or any place.....

We sent out 35 emails to different farms about coming to work for them. Getting in contact with them was a little tricky considering we did not sign up for the offical WWOOFing website because the dues are high and we agreed we should not pay to volunteer somewhere. Ross found a dated list of emails of farms that accepted WWOOFers. Out of 35 we received 5 emails back, two were offers and three were letters of regret for not needing help. We agreed to work on Fern Hill Farm in Lisdoovarna, Ireland from August 20- September 30. What were we thinking??? Our communication with the owner transpired in four emails, we asked just a few questions; but nothing about our room, wifi, or food. We did not even ask what our duties would include. We did not want to seem needy so we just left it at will be there around noon. She filled our heads with ideal images of live Irish music in the farm house nightly, the chance to learn how to cook traditional Irish meals, and the opportunity to garden and work with cows.

Fern Hill Farm House 

The Nightmare Unfolds.....

We received a 30 second greet upon arrival and were told to wait while she took care of a few things. Patients is what she asked for....so patients is what she got. The owner of the farm had told us we would have fun working at her farm. She needed us through the end of September because of the annual Match Making Festival in Lisdoovarna. The population goes from around 2,000 to 40,000 people and she was booked solid. Oh yeah if I forgot to mention she runs a bed and breakfast, farming cattle for sale is a second income. We were to clean, cook, do laundry, and take care of the lawn maintenance... there would be no farming.

There were three young adults working for her when we arrived; two guys one French and one Italian, as well as one female, from Spain who was leaving the next day. They all were there to practice English while on summer break from school. The guys were nice, they told us what to expect, we had one week with them before they too left to go home. They told us that they had been living off toast and tea for two months because she serves molded out of date food. She would cook us the same meals every day: breakfast was toast, lunch was fried egg, sausage, and beans, and for dinner either breakfast again or spaghetti. We did not need to be told how dirty everything was because when we cleaned the kitchen my eyes wandered from one disgusting mess to another. From bowls of rotting fruit to dried egg yolk inside the dish cabinet. My stomach sank.

Ross and I had some down time later in the day so we brought our computers inside to use the prehistoric DLS internet. We were only online for 30 minutes before she made it very clear that she does not want us online nor does she want our computers in the house at all. Her dislike of technology also explains why I have limited pictures of this experience

It gets better! The broken bed in our room made us miss sleeping in the Kangoo. The walls were neon yellow covered in cob webs and there was a bathroom sink oddly placed in the room. After working with the guys earlier I learned that they do not wash the comforters on the bed just the sheets, therefore I did not want to sleep under the mildew scented bedding. There we were trying to sleep in the cold, sinking into a broken bed, and dreading waking up to serve morning breakfast at 8:00 am.

                                              

The boss overslept, leaving me in the rain outside her window knocking on it to wake her up. Ten minutes I waited and my can do mood slipped away from me. She has a demanding snappy tone about her and she barks orders instead of asking; which I did not respond well to after a sleepless night.

There only a few guest and I have over ten years experience in the food service industry so a few breakfast orders should have been a breeze. I have never seen anything like it....it was like she hated having guest to serve breakfast to. Everything they asked for was a hassle or she would gripe about how needy they were being. She advertises a full traditional Irish breakfast and here she was offering bacon and eggs. The worse part was she was not bitching at the guest, she was taking her attitude out on me.

There was a request for yogurt and she pulled out two tubs. As she pulled pack the seals she noticed mold on the top of each; so she took a spoon and scrapped it off and placed it on a plate for me to serve.

The final strike

Breakfast was over, I cleaned the kitchen, put the dishes away, and reset the tables. It was almost 11:45 am time for guest to check out. The boss requested that I go tell the guest in the sun shine room that it was time to check out. These were the same guest that the boss had me lie to yesterday about the shower being broken in the sunshine room, the nicest room she has, because she did not want two men to sleep in the suit together. The men were return guest who had stayed in that room last week, that is when she noticed they may have been gay and one of them smoked. After raising the price on them and the lie about the shower, they still wanted the room. Now I was being told to kick them out also. I did not think so! I went over leading her to believe I was asking them to hurry up. I ended up telling them I am sorry she is so rude after I was asked what was up her ass. Then the truth came about. She does not change the bedding in between different guest staying. She serves moldy spoiled food to her guest for breakfast.  She yelled at Ross and I for having our computers in her house.  We were only permitted to eat toast unless she cooked us something else which would have also been rotten food.  There is quite a bit more bullshit but those are the highlights. My husband and I have only been here 36 hours and I dont think it is going to work out. Damn it felt good to say that! I had made up my mind through ranting to the shocked guest that we were leaving.

The Escape

This is not a farm like we intended. Her cows are for selling she doe not even milk them. We were not going to learn anything about farming or Irish cooking so it was pointless for us to stay and be verbally abused. 

So after three days we decided to go into town for lunch to eat some real food( which pissed her off so much she was slamming shit) and while we were out we planned our escape....

When we returned from lunch Ross pulled the Kangoo right in front of our room door.  I took a quick shower and packed our stuff. Ross went inside to stall her while I loaded the car.  She had asked him to cut the lawn and when he walked back inside she asked..." Are you finished already?" Ross said, " No we have changed our minds. This is not going to workout for us because you are rude and we came here under false pretenses.  Perhaps if you did  not yell at us we would not be going.  We gave you plenty of chances to be nice and make us think you were tolerable but it is obvious your not so we are leaving.....NOW"    

She tried saying, " But I dont mean to be" blah blah blah.  And we peeled out of her drive way. It was not the experience we expected but it was one we will not forget.